Towards the end of my pregnancy, my doctor ordered an ultrasound to make sure the baby was growing appropriately. This was precautionary as the baby had measured small the last couple appointments. The ultrasound gave us some important information. Baby K was growing appropriately, however, she was breech. At this point, she should have already flipped into the cephalic (head down) position, and it was unlikely that she would turn further along in my pregnancy. I knew what this meant… “C-section” (cesarean). Like so many women before me, this was not what I wanted for my birth plan. Having a planned cesarean had not really crossed my mind. I figured it would only be some kind of emergency that would result in this outcome. Instantly I thought of all the patients I have treated over the years who had cesarean delivery. I thought of abdominal adhesions and scar tissue mobility work that would need to be done postpartum. Naturally, as a physical therapist, I also thought of all the mobility challenges this would bring after baby. Having a cesarean would change my post-partum recovery; I would need more help with lifting, carrying, and we have so many stairs in our house! I know this may sound crazy… but what saddened me the most about cesarean delivery was that I was not going to experience what labor felt like. I felt cheated, in a weird way, I was looking forward to it, almost like a rite of passage. I wanted to analyze labor and delivery from a patient’s standpoint, not just as a therapist. I thought it would help me relate to patients and friends who have experienced labor. All that being said, a scheduled C-section was happening unless that baby miraculously flipped.
My doctor suggested a version, which is a procedure where your doctor tries to manually turn your baby using an external technique. I had heard it is painful, but I pride myself on being a pretty tough woman who has dealt with some pain, I can do this! Needless to say, the version was painful… Very painful! As a matter of fact, the most painful procedure I have ever encountered. After trying about four times to turn the baby, my doctor asked me if we should try one more time. Although I was miserable, I asked if they thought the baby was close to being in the right position. The looks on my husband’s and doctor’s faces told me that she hadn’t moved at all. We gave it one more try, but that stubborn baby really liked the spot she was in. The plan was to proceed with the scheduled C-section at 39 weeks, unless I went into labor first, then it would be an emergency cesarean delivery.
At 39 weeks, I woke up the morning of the planned cesarean and thought, “it’s a good day to have a baby”. I was excited to finally meet this little princess, but a little nervous about the cesarean delivery. I was trying not to think about what was going to happen to my abdomen and uterus. I was hoping Baby K would handle all of this safely, and she would be well. My plan for the procedure was distraction, not to think about what was happening, as I knew too much. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I did not want to think of every unfortunate story I had heard about “spinals”, and “cesareans gone wrong”, so I kept telling myself to trust my doctors and relax. After all, this is what they do every day, and they are good at it. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the numbness and tingling I felt in my legs, as well as the lack of motor control in the lower half of my body once they administered the spinal, but it did the trick.
All I felt during the caesarean was just some tugging on my abdomen as the doctor worked to get baby out and complete the procedure. Luckily, it was all happening behind a partition while my husband held my hand and we told jokes to relieve our nerves. All of a sudden, there was a loud cry, and I felt instant relief. It was my baby, and she had healthy lungs! My doctor popped around the screen and showed me my beautiful brown-haired baby. Next, my husband and the nurses cut the cord and took care of baby. Once she was cleared and safe, they plopped her on my chest. Like a moth to a flame, that baby wriggled herself right onto my breast. It was the purest form of instinct I have ever witnessed. How did that little baby that just entered this world have the innate knowledge to nourish, and the strength to find her food source. It was amazing! Overall, no matter how much you research and plan for labor and delivery, it likely won’t turn out how you plan it. The positive is that our bodies have been delivering babies forever, so trust in your body, and trust in those around you helping with the delivery. The labor and delivery experience is innate.
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